You don't have to love failure

It seems like everybody is telling us that we should love failure.

Really? Should we? Or should we just have a different perspective on failure and see it for what it is?

  1. A moment to take responsibility and grow as a person

You could say that it is a great learning moment, and it is. The problem is when you don’t actually take responsibility for your failure. Don't just tell people you've let down (employees, family, friends) that it’s ok that you've all failed, that it's part of life, that it's the only way to succeed, etc.

While you might be right, you have to consider that you could have negatively affected a lot of lives. Employees that moved across the country and left behind relationships and opportunities. Family members that were invested emotionally in you, etc. You are seldom the lone stakeholder in the actions you take.

Remember that not all people have a great perspective on failure. Failure might just slide right off you, but a lot of people don’t look at it this way. The biggest learning moment you get from failure isn't the knowledge you gain, but the responsibility you take.

  1. An experiment that didn't work

Look at every attempt you take as an experiment, but remember that not all experiments work. They have to have the right ingredients and conditions. Finding the right mix of these elements can be difficult, especially in the real world where the variables are nearly endless. Some might get the experiment to work on their first try, most of us won't. Don't feel bad about this. Just learn from what went wrong.

  1. True failure lies in not realizing/analyzing why you failed in the first place

What do you think will happen if you fall off a horse and get back on without ever understanding why you fell in the first place? Bet you $5 bucks you're going to fall off again.

Don't just jump back in the saddle. Try to understand what went wrong, and course correct. Asking other close stakeholders what they think went wrong can be very helpful.